I spent the whole day with Jon today. It was actually a lot of fun and I love his house so much. <3 I love talking to him and I love the way he smells and the way he listens to me and is so nice to me. We spent most of the day on the couch watching movies and tv and such. I think I may have dissapointed him a little because I wasnt really that interested/didnt know any of the music that he was talking about and his guitar. He seemed okay with it though. We sat on the couch in his amazing house (that I love so much <3 I wanna live in that house) and we cuddled and I held his hand. I asked him if he was going to kiss me and he said no because I wasnt his girlfriend. It surprised me a lot because I thought we would end up kissing by the end of the day but we never did. His dad's girlfriend has the most adorable cat ever. I want a cat now just because of how much I love that one. On the ride home, I got really quiet because I was thinking and I could tell he knew I was thinking about something. A lot of the things that happend, a lot of the things we talked about was his life and his childhood and how he didnt like his mom or his dad and he fought with his sister and it seemed like he didnt have anyone to fall back on because I dont think he had many close friends. His mom called him while we were together and he ignored the call. I'm not sure he knew how to take the affection I was giving him either. All of these things happened the same way with her.
I'm scared. I feel like this is happening all over again. I dont want it to. I don't wanna like him. I wanna stop but I wanna be there for him at the same time. I'm sorry, I don't know what to do.
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