Le sigh. Frustration.

So Morgan and I are dating and yeah we do have a lot of issues. We fight a lot and we are mean to each other at times and we call each other a bitch and such but that is why we love each other so much. We can say those things and be mean to each other just playing around but everyone takes it the wrong way and doesn't see that we actually do like each other a lot. Everyone is always telling us "Why are you with her? blahblah" and you know what? Its none of your fucking business. Before I really didnt care but now its really starting to piss me off. You dont have any say in our relationship at all. You arnt even in our relationship so you dont even know how we feel about each other. When someone comes up to Morgan and is like "wow she is ugly you could do a lot better" and all that other shit it really makes me sad because i already feel like i dont deserve her and all you do is make it worse. I know im ugly and fat and not the greatest person in the world but sometimes it really hurts to hear people saying that about me when they dont even know what im like.

I wish you would like me more. :(

Dolphin's sleep with one eye open.

Today, my sister told me that cow's don't drink milk. Why did I always think they did? hm.

Lady Gaga came out with a new song. I'm just a holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel but i'm still in love with judas, babyy. Ive been listening to it non-stop. It already made number 2. Lady Gaga is amazing. <3 on the topic of music I really want Tegan and Sara's album The complete recollection. It costs like $50 though. :/ It has all of their album's so i can see why. I was going to ask for it for my birthday but i dont think my parents are giving me anything for my birthday considering they are still really mad at me. I really wanted a new N64 for my birthday too. My mother and I were supposed to go shopping and such but whatever. I really need new clothes though. I couldnt find anything in my closet today to wear. le sigh.

My birthday is on Easter which is next sunday. ugh its going to suck. Summer is coming soon and i really hope i lose some weight. Ive been trying to lose weight all year but i really dont have any motivation to do anything. Hopefully all the traveling i will do will help me lose some. Ive gained like 5 pounds this week from being a bum and laying around. Ive been going window shopping like all week. ugh.

Ive been fighting a lot recently with Morgan. We have been fighting around really stupid shit like all the time. Either i get mad about something she said or she gets mad at me. I think about us breaking up a lot and i dont think thats good but i really dont want to lose her. Last night i accidently told her i still had feelings for the guy i used to be in love with and she got really mad and started yelling at me and told me she didnt want to talk to me anymore which is the first time that has ever happend. Today she stopped being mad but i think it was just because she got high today or something. I called her tonight and she was being a bitch and ignored me. She has been being a bitch a lot recently but i guess so have I hence the reason we have been fighting so much. I think its because we havent seen each other in so long. Well thats what is affecting me because it feels like a long distance relationship us not seeing each other but it doesnt seem to affect her at all. She doesnt even act like she likes me. I try to make her mad sometimes because when she is mad i know that she actuallys cares about me because other times she doesnt show it at all. I feel like crying. idk.