My mom and I went prom dress shopping today. We couldn't find a single dress because all of them were sizes too small for me or they showed too much skin and wouldn't look good on me or something or another. I wanted to cry because I wanted to find a dress and look really beautiful for one day in my life. I guess there is always next year.
Today I really didn't do anything. I havent done anything all week but lay around and have little human interaction as possible. Sometimes I feel as if the whole world is against me and I just need to shut everyone out. I feel like I can't trust anyone because in the end, I will just end up getting hurt. I want someone so badly though. I'm tired of being alone. I just want someone that will always be there for me no matter what. I can hold them and kiss them whenever I want or when they are sad and they will do the same for me because they love me. I hate the fact that I sat and wasted a big part of my life and some whore who cheated on me and left me for someone else. I gave her everything and I hate that she took everything and left me with nothing except the pieces of my heart. I hate how everyone thinks i'm not over her. I am over her. I dont think anyone understands what its like to be hurt how I have been and its not something you can get over in a few months. It takes a while to heal and its hard doing it all by myself like I am. People who tell me that its in the past and I need to get over it, FUCK YOU. Lemme break your arm and then tell you its in the past so get over it. I bet that won't go over too well for you will it?
Today, Jennifer posted something about how she must have been drunk when she was going out with her ex and then she made a comment about how while her ex downgraded she upgraded and that cheaters and liars were stupid cunts or something like that. Of coarse I couldnt resist putting my 2 cents in and I said "LOL ive been laughing for 5 minutes reading this. You upgraded? no, you downgraded. bad. oh, I especially laughed when you said that thing about cheaters and liars." then she got mad and told me to stfu bc it wasnt her fault morgan wanted her and not me. WELP. I hate when she says that. I hate that she thinks im not over her. and I hate that she thinks she is the hottest thing since sliced bread. I mean, she is cute but she isnt shdishdihsa yum cute. but she unfriended me which she will probably friend me again later like she always does. I shouldnt have put myself in this and start drama but there are some things that you just cant keep in.
Today is Monday and I need to read past chapter 15 in my book by Wednesday. Im still on chapter 1. I dont know what everyone else is talking about but I think this book is really boring. I keep falling asleep trying to read. The beginning is always slow. I hate books like that. I'm getting really bad at doing school work lately. Le sigh. I wish I could hurry up and be in college and away from everyone and be doing my own thing. Focusing on what I actually wanna do in life. I guess you have to go through the bad stuff to get to the good stuff.
I just wish all the bad stuff would be over. I think i've had enough.
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