April 2nd. A day I have been dreading. Thank the lord it is finally over though.
I wanted to make a new blog but I dont think I should. Ill probably forget about this one and I wanna see/keep all of my blog posts. Also, im too lazy to make another blog and I keep wanting to but ya know.. -.-
This day was as shitty as I thought it would be. All during spring break, I went to sleep at 5am and woke up at 3pm everyday. Naturally, I didnt get tired until 5am yesterday and thats what time I had to get up so I basically pulled an all nighter throughout school. I was hoping today would be a good day but then I was reminded of how much I hate school. Fuck. Why can't I be a senior so I can be graduating in 36 days BUT NO I have a whole nother year. I was so tired. Everything was going by like a blur. I don't even remember half of the stuff I did. I was so tired that I wouldnt stop laughing in my last period and I was completely out of it. Kim was like "go get me so eggs" and I brought back some butter. I kept messing up on everything.
A year ago from today, Morgan asked me out. I wish I didnt remember. I wish I could forget everything. She probably didnt remember. I prayed that she wouldnt be here today but I was let down. She always comes on the days I don't want her to. I think I started crying a little bit when I saw her but I don't remember. For some reason, I kept looking at her hands. I remember when we were going out, my fav thing was to hold her hand. I loved her hands. FUCK MAN. Why do I think about things that hurt me? Why are you putting me through this. I dont understand what help this brings me. To face my fears? UGH I DONT KNOW FUCK JESSICA YOU CONFUSE ME WITH YOUR CLICHES.
Jeordin is moving on Monday. I dont know what im going to do. She doesnt want people to know and act any different around her but of coarse people will pay more attention to her. When you have the last piece of candy you like to savor it before you eat it. I dont know. I feel as if Jeordin was a big part of my life here. Jeordin was one of the first people ive ever met. If it wasnt for Jeordin I would have never met Morgan. Jeordin has made me feel better so many times. I look up to her so much. I don't want to believe that im never gonna see her again. Im confused on why im even so close to her though and why she means so much to me. It wasnt like we were best friends so why does her going away make me so upset? Im going to miss her with all my heart. I love you, Jeordin.
I came home and maxxie left this big pile of shit in her cage for me to clean up. Greta decided she wanted to get out of her cage and got the poop all over the cage so I had to clean the cage too. She tore up all the garden stuff in the garage that I didnt even see until mom pointed it out. Then, she got out of our fence and got filthy and ran away from me while the neighbors saw me chase her around. After I finally got everything cleaned up, I sat on the couch and cried. Jeordin texted me and I got to see Sarah's boobs. She'll probably regret putting them on the internet later. I sat down and did a little of my homework. I still have yet to do all of it which I probably wont do now because I don't feel like it. I went upstairs to sleep for a little bit because I havent slept all day. I woke up at 11pm and came downstairs hungry as fuck. My mom wouldnt let me eat anything because she said it was too late and I was like "well wtf why didnt you wake me up when dinner was ready?". She has been being really mean like all week. Her period should be over by now -.- I dont even know. I dont wanna be at school because it fucking sucks. I dont wanna be at home because it fucking sucks. But I dont know where I wanna be. Somewhere where im happy I guess. Im never happy though.
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