Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Don't wake me, I plan on sleeping in.

Poopie.

Self-hatred. I have really been disliking myself lately. I dunno what it is. I have been feeling so fat lately that all I ever want to wear it a t-shirt and my hoodie. I haven't even gained one pound though but when I look in the mirror or even the way I feel, it feels as if ive gained like 20. Bleh. Been feeling so ugly lately that I don't even see the point in wearing makeup anymore because I still feel ugly.

This anxiety is building up. I feel like i'm gonna get pregnant because that's just the way my life fucking goes. I know there isn't really a chance of me getting pregnant but I think about it all the time. I'm praying that I really don't and I wish I could just go get a test and find out instead of me worrying to death until my holy period comes. It's literally nerve wrecking and I can't stop having this terrible nausea. Fuck, I hate this. Ugh I really dislike that guy. THIS FUCKING NIGGA HOW THE FUCK IS HE GONNA FUCKING HIT IT AND QUIT IT THEN FUCKING DELETE ME OFF FACEBOOK WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I really wanted to just text him and fucking let him feel my fucking wrath but I really didn't feel like dealing with that shit so I won't but fucking still. Good lord, I'm glad I won't have to see him next year.

If I don't end up pregnant, I am promising to stay off guys because lord knows the only reason I am ever even attracted is because i'm lonely and ill kiss any guy that gives me attention. I'm going strictly girls and hopefully i'll be able to stay that way. I really want a kitten so fucking bad. :(

Just fucking fuck everything. I'm so glad its almost summer so I don't have to pay attention to the world.

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